I'm Old-Fashioned That Way

A chance encounter at the grocery store—where a teenage couple mocked my handwritten shopping list as "old-fashioned"—sparked a deeper reflection on values that seem to be fading from our society. Is being old-fashioned about recognizing what practices and principles remain valuable despite their age?

What happened to respect? Not blind deference, but basic consideration for elders, authority figures, and community needs. Where has kindness gone? The simple courtesy that creates human connection seems increasingly rare.

I miss the days when honesty and integrity weren't negotiable—when someone's word actually meant something. 

The Golden Rule might seem simplistic, but "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" remains the most profound ethical framework we have. What old-fashioned values do you still cherish?

Email me at BillMonty04@gmail.com or leave a voice message through the SpeakPipe link in the show notes. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Shopping Lists and Being Old-Fashioned
• 2:23 Lost Values: Respect and Kindness
• 4:34 Honesty, Responsibility, and Patriotism
• 6:30 Hard Work and Simplicity
• 8:51 Commitments, Apologies, and Humility
• 16:24 The Golden Rule Revisited
• 18:37 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Bill Monty's Guide for Gettin' Older. I was shopping in the grocery store this past weekend. I had my trusty shopping list with me and as I passed this young couple the woman, barely a woman, young girl, teenager as they passed by I guess she thought he's so old he's lost his hearing too and she said to her friend gosh, a shopping list that's old-fashioned. And they laughed and I thought, yeah, it is old-fashioned. I could put my shopping list on my phone, I know how I use the notes and all that kind of stuff, but by the time I open the app I create a new shopping list and I type in loaf of bread or even just bread. I could have written down three or four other items on a piece of paper. So I guess I will stick with being old-fashioned.

Speaker 1: 1:10

I read an article recently and forgive me, I don't have it in front of me, but the gist of it was that if you still use a shopping list that you wrote by hand, then it says several good things about you you care about what you're doing, you are focused, you have respect for old ways. In other words, you're old-fashioned. I don't make any apologies. Yeah, I do a lot of things the way we used to a long time ago. Not because I can't adapt to technology. I'm doing a podcast. I taught myself how to record, got the computer, taught myself how to edit, how to put sound effects and how to put music behind a podcast, how to market it. I don't think I'm so old-fashioned that I get lost in the hustle and bustle of technology, but in a lot of ways, with things I do, I'm just old-fashioned that way, and it got me thinking about what are the things that are old-fashioned, that have gone out of style? So I wrote up a little list. I don't think the first few are any big shock. I think most older people say these or think these as they talk about younger people, younger generations, in the same way that they say well, I used to walk 12 miles in snow to get to school, okay, so let's talk about number one.

Speaker 1: 2:48

One Respect. Respect is old-fashioned, I'm sorry, I don't know how it is in other parts of the country and outside of my recent trip to Canada, where I can say they still remember respect and kindness. Here in this country, and in South Florida in particular, where I live, respect has kind of gotten thrown out the window. I'm talking about respect for elders, for people in authority, the kind of respect that fosters a sense of social cohesion, of community, if you will. It's about respecting personal privacy and being mindful of the needs of others. Based on the driving that I see, the way that people act, the way that a young couple passing an older person in a grocery store who's looking at a shopping list and thinking that that's a reason to joke and to say it loud enough for him to hear that's a lack of respect. I like respect, I like respecting people, but I'm going to tell you something I expect respect in return. I guess I'm just old-fashioned that way.

Speaker 1: 4:07

Kindness and courtesy Well, if you've been listening to this podcast for the 40-plus episodes it's been out there you know at the end of every one, I remind you be kind, being polite, considerate, having good manners. It creates a better planet, a better atmosphere for everybody. Showing that you're kind, being kind, it promotes empathy and a stronger sense of this connection that's lost between each of us, between people. Honesty and integrity these are values that are considered well. They were, for a long time, considered essential for building trust and maintaining strong relationships. With everything going on in the world, I don't know what happened to honesty and integrity. It is gone, but there was a time and I'm not trying to paint everything with this bright color like there weren't bad things that happened in the past, that there weren't bad presidents or bad politicians or bad wars? Of course there were. Were there bad people? Of course there were, but there was also growing up.

Speaker 1: 5:15

For me, there was this sense of integrity that someone's word meant something. My father taught me that from a very young age me and my brother. Your word, your acts, your deeds, they define you as a person. Responsibility, take ownership of your actions. Fulfill the duties that you commit to, whether it be family or work or social commitments, whatever it might be. These are old-fashioned morals, I get it, but it means you are accountable for the choices and commitments that you make. Love of country I know I'm going to get razzed on this one and it does not mean blind nationalism. It means that you have taken the time, knowing everything that you know or might believe about the current political situation. You have an appreciation for our country's history, our traditions and you want, like so many others do, to make it better.

Speaker 1: 6:30

Perseverance and hard work One of the things that I don't see and I'm kind of guilty of this in a way. Even with my own daughter when she was small, we would say things like clean your room and you'll get your allowance. But when I was growing up, my brother and I were expected to wash the cars. We were expected to. We didn't have a dishwasher in our house. We wore the dishwasher in the same way that we wore the TV remote. We had to cut the lawn, we had to edge the lawn, and my father did not believe in power tools. These were old-fashioned push mowers. He did eventually get a gas mower, but that edger we used. Man, that was hard work, intensive labor. We got our 25 cent a week allowance. If we did those, if we skipped even one of them, we did not get that vast fortune cast upon us. But more importantly, what he was teaching us was that hard work gets you a reward and no matter what it is, it's expected of you as you go through life.

Speaker 1: 7:39

Perseverance and hard work, old-fashioned values, simplicity and mindfulness. I am old-fashioned. I do dream about a simpler way of life, as it once was. I do practice mindfulness, mindfulness, meditation. You've heard me talk about that on this podcast, but also about being present in the here and the now, simplicity and mindfulness, when I like to get back to a simpler life. You hear about people saying they want to be off the grid. I don't know if I could survive off the grid knowing. Do I want to go without my phone that gets me in instant contact with my family or gives me entertainment or playlists, or lets me listen to great podcasts like Tales from South Florida? No, I don't. But do I miss a time when we didn't have all that connection and yet we still survived? Yeah, I do, kind of, because I'm just old-fashioned that way. Here are some other things that I think could help us bring back some old-fashioned values.

Speaker 1: 8:51

Stop canceling at the last minute Unless there's an emergency. Canceling at the last minute unless there's an emergency. It has become a trend for people in this post-COVID era to cancel plans at the last minute, to keep breaking their commitments, whether it's for work or platonic friendships or partners. This can sabotage healthy relationships. This can sabotage healthy relationships. It puts trust and loyalty your integrity that I talked about before at risk, and it will push people into more of an isolationist cycle where anxiety feels like the only comfort that you can find, and that anxiety comes from just staying home, from breaking those commitments.

Speaker 1: 9:39

Here's what I really believe in it's never too late to apologize.

Speaker 1: 9:45

You have to be accountable for the mistakes that you make in life, and I know that a lot of you think I don't really make that many mistakes. Trust me, you do. I've made mistakes in my life, but I like to think that right now I'm at a point where I have learned how to say I'm sorry, my bad, that was my fault, and to mean it. I recently had an occasion at work to cause someone some unintentional discomfort and they let me know about it and good for them, because they should have because I was out of line, I forgot to be kind, I forgot my own advice. They have yet to accept my apology, but I keep trying to give it because I was wrong. It was no big earth shattering type of mistake, but I lost a trust that this person had in me and that bothers me to this day.

Speaker 1: 10:53

It's never too late to apologize. It's the type of old fashioned value this day. It's never too late to apologize. It's the type of old-fashioned value that we as a society should bring back so that we can live good lives again, because honesty is the best policy. I was just honest with you. I didn't have to mention that. I did that. I could keep going. Well, well, well, old Bill, he never makes a mistake. I made a big mistake the other day. I, for the longest time, have thought that the president has been promoting my podcast. You know, I mean, I don't know how to be so wrong. He keeps saying the big, beautiful Bill. I just thought he forgot my last name. I didn't really think that.

Speaker 1: 11:39

Because honesty is the best policy, I'm going to tell you that, yeah, you have to be honest. Even little lies get you into trouble. I was big with little lies when I was younger, and a lie is a lie. It doesn't matter if it's big or small. You have to get away from doing it, because you will always be found out. To my younger listeners, if you are there, or to those who speak to younger people, let them know. The lie is always found out. You never get away with it. Do you know why? That is Because you know that you lied. You know that you haven't been truthful. We need to learn to be humble again. We live in a very competitive society where people sometimes feel pressured by their own high standards or the standards they feel are put on them, by expecting for people in this post-COVID era to cancel plans at the last minute, to keep breaking their commitments, whether it's for work or platonic friendships or partners. This can sabotage healthy relationships. It puts trust and loyalty, your integrity that I talked about before at risk, and it will push people into more of an isolationist cycle where anxiety feels like the only comfort that you can find, and that anxiety comes from just staying home, from breaking those commitments. Here's what I really believe in it's never too late to apologize. You have to be accountable for the mistakes that you make in life, and I know that a lot of you think well, I don't really make that many mistakes. Trust me, you do. I've made mistakes in my life, but I like to think that right now I'm at a point where I have learned how to say I'm sorry, my bad, that was my fault, and to mean it. I recently had an occasion at work to cause someone some unintentional discomfort and they let me know about it, and good for them, because they should have, because I was out of line, I forgot to be kind, I forgot my own advice. They have yet to accept my apology, but I keep trying to give kind. I forgot my own advice. They have yet to accept my apology, but I keep trying to give it, because I was wrong. It was no big, earth-shattering type of mistake, but I lost a trust that this person had in me and that bothers me to this day. It's never too late to apologize. It's the type of old-fashioned value that we as a society should bring back so that we can live good lives again, because honesty is the best policy. I was just honest with you. I didn't have to mention that I did that. I could keep going well, well, well, old Bill, he never makes a mistake. I made a big mistake the other day. I, for the longest time, have thought that the president has been promoting my podcast, you know. I mean, I don't know how to be so wrong. He keeps saying the big, beautiful Bill. I just thought he forgot my last name. I didn't really think that. Because honesty is the best policy, I'm going to tell you that, yeah, you have to be honest. Even little lies get you into trouble. I was big with little lies when I was younger, and a lie is a lie. It doesn't matter if it's big or small. You have to get away from doing it, because you will always be found out to my younger listeners if you are there.

Speaker 1: 15:38

Patience by societal norms and they forget to let humility speak for itself. You're so tuned into your own ego. You need to project superiority. This happens a lot on jobs and at work. You need to project that superiority and confidence and at the end of it all, you're just lonely. You're unfulfilled. Even if there was some type of maybe work success, personal success, try a little humility, it goes a long way.

Speaker 1: 16:15

And this final old-fashioned value. It's so old-fashioned, it goes back to the days of the Bible and even before. It's the golden rule Treat others as you want to be treated. Look, it's easy to overanalyze and overlook everyone's humanity. In light of our boundaries and needs, especially when we talk about our partners, intimate partners we find ourselves holding our friends, our family members, even just people at work, to standards that we are not meeting. We expect them to put their needs and desires aside to make us happy. Try to make it a bigger picture approach to your life. If we all were to just follow the golden rule, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, wouldn't the world be a better place, and, yes, that's simplistic, I understand, but I'm just old-fashioned that way.

Speaker 1: 17:23

What about you, my friends? What are the values that you have that some people consider old-fashioned? What are the ones that you try to hold on to to this day? Have you found that these have become more important to you as you get older? I'd love it if you reached out to me and let me know. You can do that in a couple of easy ways. You can email me at BillMonte04 at gmailcom. You can scroll down into the show notes and hit that link to the speak pipe, which is a tool that lets you leave me a 90-second voice message. Either way, I'd love to hear what you have to say about old-fashioned values and how you are living them or wish you were living them.

Speaker 1: 18:05

Like I said, even I, sitting here preaching them, have failed recently, but I do realize that and I'm trying to be better. And if you would like to try to be better, I'm going to ask a favor of you If you could please hit that subscribe or follow button on whatever platform that you're on. That really helps us to grow the show. It's free, doesn't cost you anything to do it, and it will give you a reminder when the next episode becomes available. Also, if you could leave a like, a comment or a rating, I'd really appreciate it. Again, it helps us grow the show. Thank you for taking the time to visit with me today. Thank you for listening to Bill Monty's Guide for Getting Older. And, as we end this episode, my friends Omati's Guide for Getting Older. And as we end this episode, my friends, I remind you in an old-fashioned way be safe and be kind. What to do without a friendly shoulder? You're not alone. So start feeling bolder. Welcome to Bill Monty's Guide for Getting Older.