Self-Care Is Not Selfish: Life Lesson Part 4

Self-care isn't selfish, but a crucial step in maintaining mental and emotional health—much like securing your own oxygen mask first on a plane. Join me, Bill Monty, as we explore this vital topic in the continuation of our Life Lessons series. I share personal insights and the wisdom gained from years of navigating life's ups and downs. Together, we'll explore the importance of setting healthier boundaries and habits as we age, ensuring that we can better care for ourselves and, in turn, for those around us. We'll also touch on the emotional aftermath of recent political events, emphasizing the need to process feelings of anger, sadness, or fear without letting them overwhelm us.

Rather than letting negative emotions consume us, let's channel them into positive actions. We discuss the inevitability of change and the importance of moving forward despite setbacks. Our heartfelt conversation will guide you in embracing self-care as a path to greater kindness and wisdom. Whether you're feeling disheartened by recent events or simply seeking to better understand the role self-care plays in our lives, this episode offers insight and encouragement. Tune in to discover how prioritizing your well-being can lead to a more fulfilling and compassionate life.

Please, please, please, if you, or someone that you know needs help, get them professional medical aid. Do not be embarrassed or afraid to ask for help. 
National Suicide Hotline: Dial 988
You are important. You are loved. 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Thank you for joining me for this episode of Bill Monty's Guide for Getting Older. This week we continue the Life Lessons series. Life lessons are those things that life teaches us as we age to make us wiser, hopefully kinder, and to make life more enjoyable. This week, we're talking about self-care. So let's cue the music about self-care. So let's cue the music. I'd like to start this episode off by asking sincerely how are you doing today? No, really, how are you doing? I'm recording this on Monday, november the 11th.

Speaker 1: 0:48

For those of us here in America, we had a pretty big election last week and there are a lot of strong feelings about the winners and the losers and about what that means for the future of this country. Now, long-time listeners here know I don't get into politics on this show and I'm not going to start today. I want to go beyond the politics of what occurred and talk about how we can begin the healing process. I want to use this episode and this time to talk about self-care, and there are a lot of people that think self-care is not important, and I want to tell you that self-care is not important, and I want to tell you that self-care is not selfish Taking time for ourselves well. Admittedly, that can feel indulgent at first, but we learn that self-care is essential for our well-being. As we get older, we discover that we can't pour from an empty cup and that taking care of ourselves allows us to better care for others. When you finally come to this realization and you can put it into practice, it often leads to healthier boundaries and habits. It reminds me of when you're on a plane trip and before you take off, they do the emergency talk with you, and one of the things that they really emphasize is that if you're traveling with a child or someone who might need aid and those masks drop from the ceiling because of an emergency, be sure to secure your mask first before trying to secure it on your child or the person that you're with, because you must be getting that flow of oxygen. You must be taking care of yourself before you can help someone else, and that's so true with everything else.

Speaker 1: 2:41

Right now we live in harsh times, but maybe they're not as harsh as we think they are. I'm old enough to know that the bad times have come before and they have gone If you are of a certain age, and you don't even have to be of that age for tragedy to have struck, or sadness or things that make you feel disappointed with the world or life. But one of the most important things that we learn as we age is that, no matter what happens the next day, the world still turns. Everything still moves forward. It still goes on.

Speaker 1: 3:21

So to my friends in America who are feeling great anger or great sadness or great fear over the election results for the president from last week, I ask you to be kind to yourself, to forgive yourself for feeling that way. It's perfectly alright for you to have these feelings. There's nothing wrong with that. If you let it consume you, if you let it alter the way that you treat yourself and other people, if it makes you think things are so bleak that they can never get better, that's a time to be worried. No matter how dark things seem right now, it's probably not as dark as you believe it is Now.

Speaker 1: 4:12

Listen, I'm one of the people who wishes that some of the elections in some of the states had gone different ways. I live in Florida. I wasn't happy with the way things many things that were voted on went. So what are my options? I could be angry. Be angry at everybody, no matter what anyone says to me, I just snap at them, because if I'm angry, someone has to pay for it, and it is not possible for me to be angry personally with the people and the things and the events that are making me feel this way. So I'm going to take it out on other people. Is that fair, is that right? And, at the end of the day, does it make you feel better? If we're being honest, no, it doesn't.

Speaker 1: 5:00

So what else can you do? Ignore your feelings, just pretend everything is all right, nothing's wrong? Of course not. You can't ignore the way you feel. It's real. But you have to take these feelings and turn them into something positive. Or again they will consume you. They will make it to where there's no joy in life, and there shouldn't be one event that does that. There are so many things in life, unfortunately, where those things can happen. We feel like it's just one hit after the other, sometimes Like you can't get a breather, makes you wonder why the world and the universe and, if you are a believer in God, why God is mad at you at that moment. But sometimes that's just the way it all falls. The sun will still come up tomorrow, don't worry, and things will be good. So here are my suggestions Take a breath, remember you're a good person, especially if you're feeling this way right now.

Speaker 1: 6:03

Don't let the negative feelings take over. Reach out, do kind things. Other people are in pain. If they are, talk to them, but try not to dwell on the negative too long, and I know this isn't something that you can just turn on and turn off like a light switch If you're really angry or really concerned. It's going to take time, so start working on it now.

Speaker 1: 6:33

I've mentioned so many times in this program before that mindfulness meditation has helped me through so many things. There are a lot of apps and a lot of information online about that. So if it's something you want to look into, look into it. See what you can do to take that negative energy and turn it into something positive. If it's something political that happens that's making you feel this way, can you join an action committee? Can you volunteer for a candidate or a cause that you think is important? Can you stand up and do what you need to do to help the world.

Speaker 1: 7:11

If you feel the world's going in the wrong direction, maybe you're the person that can steer it back on course. I think you are. I think you can and I believe we could do anything that we set our mind to. But you can't curl up in a ball, not forever. But if right now, that's what you need to do for a little while, then do it. Need time for yourself? Do it. Do something that you like to do. You like to read a book alone, with maybe a candle burning and some hot cocoa or a glass of wine? Do it. You like going to the beach or maybe spending a little bit more money than you should on a nice restaurant? Do it. Help yourself, be kind. Remember self-care isn't selfish.

Speaker 1: 8:02

I hope you'll join me for the next episode of Bill Monty's Guide for Getting Older and we'll look at another of life's lessons together. If you would like to leave a comment on this episode or reach out to me with just your thoughts, I hope you'll write to me at billmonti04 at gmailcom. Billmonti04 at gmailcom. And please remember, if you can, to hit that like button, make a comment, share with your friends and family and please be sure to subscribe. It does help the podcast and it is very much appreciated.

Speaker 1: 8:40

Until next time, my friends, I implore you be safe and be kind, especially to yourself. You know, my friends, thank you so much for staying to the end. It means a lot to me. I hope that right now, you're able to do the things that you need to do to make yourself feel better. I hope you'll keep listening for these little life changes and these little life lessons. These are things that actually you do learn as you get older. How you apply them well, that's up to you. We're all different, we're all individual. We won't do them the same, but I think, if you take note of them now, that when they become more important to you later in life, if you're younger right now, then hopefully when you see it, you go oh yeah, that guy, bill Monty. He told me about that. And thanks again for listening to the end.

Speaker 1: 9:37

You know, with podcasts, the way that it works is if you stay with it till the end. The companies like Spotify and Apple. They reward the podcaster, not financially. Believe me, there's no money in podcasting. What they do is they will then say, okay, well, let's go ahead and share this to more people, let's use that algorithm to put it out there, because people are staying on our app. They're staying on our platform with this podcast. That helps us, so we're going to help them. So thanks for staying to the end. It does mean a lot. Again, if get the opportunity, billmonte04 at gmailcom. I'd like to hear from you. I hope you like hearing from me on each episode of Bill Monte's Guide for Getting Older. Until next time, my friends. But you're feeling cold. You're not sure what to do without a friendly shoulder. You're not alone, so start feeling bolder. Welcome to Bill Monty's guide for getting older.